Your Strength

Today is hard day Mom... I know things were not always easy during your marriage with Dad, but you seemed to be so strong, so sure. You never let us see you sad or doubt. My kids, all 4 of them, have now watched me fall apart and I feel so horrible about that. I know they hurt.

Now, I am suffering from a huge heart break - one that no one is supposed to know about. I let myself fall in love for the first real time in my life - which sounds crazy in itself since I have been married twice - but I know that this was that love that you spend your whole life waiting for and it was so amazing, so real, like nothing I have ever known only what I have dreamt about...

and I have to let him go.

I can't have him.

And my heart hurts so bad and I don't know where to go or what to do or how not to cry. I can't let the kids see me sad because they wouldn't understand and right now they are already dealing with so much that they just shouldn't know...

Can you show me how to be strong like you?

Teach me to be strong.

Teach me to be more like you than I have ever been before.

You are an angel from heaven, surely God must let you come down and help me? I can't do this on my own and I am so alone now...

I need you, more than ever...