A Morning with Dad

I took Dad to the hospital this morning, although I think you already know that.  I am learning how it works when you are a parent, you know, when you only tell us kids what you think we need to know...

This morning, Dad's secrets were revealed.  I kept thinking how I would have loved to have the opportunity to have had this experience with you.

I learned about his health history, his medications, and his secrets about his heart.

I learned from the doctor that Dad had indeed been having chest pains even when he told me his stress test was merely for routine.  Funny, I remember this other woman that would have chest pains and not tell anyone else about them. 

Oh wait, you would tell me.  Only I didn't know that no one else knew about them. 

Only after you died did I discover I held that secret alone.  I was pretty mad at you about that one Mom.  I kicked myself for a long time - wondered, if I had said something sooner about the chest pains and the getting up in the middle of the night for aspirin, could they have done something?

Now, I have learned to understand that God has a reason for everything in life and I really believe that more than I have ever believed before.  He is the one I follow and believe in and I know, that it was your time to join Him in heaven and something tells me that even if I had said something, you would have died that day anyway...

I was used to you telling me things in portions - you never wanted me to worry about anything.

Dad is even worse than you!

He wanted me to drop him off at the door this morning Mom.  He didn't even think I needed to come in with him or sit with him.

I love the two of you, but as a parent, I have learned, that sometimes there is nothing better than the love and care of your child to make your heart better.