Hardest Apology

I was so afraid of losing my son.  I was so afraid that he couldn't see himself the way that I do when I look at him - the love, the fun, the laughter all of the gifts he has brought to my life.

Suddenly, it hit me.

I did this to you.

I put you and Dad through this same sort of pain.

Mom, I had to stop and call Dad through all of my tears.  I called him and I told him I was so sorry for what I put you through.  I only with you had been here so I could apologize to you too.

I can feel now what you must have been feeling.

I can see now all of the thoughts you must have thought.

I am so sorry that I put that fear in you.

I am so sorry I gave you the same sadness that I am feeling.

You were always there for me - you were my biggest fan.

I am so sorry I hurt you when I told you that my life wasn't worth living -

You gave me that life -

I am so sorry....